Funny Vintage Ads (43)

 Advertising has always been an interesting way to look at history. But when you see these vintage advertisements, the past seems a lot stranger than you thought.

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Hey, this is not just any Vibrator Bra. This is a "Secret Agent" Vibrator Bra that "helps give strength and vitality to weak and frail breasts!"

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Are you willing to pay 75 cents for whatever leftovers we decide to send you?

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"Wait till you feel the butter-soft luxury of 100% acrylic fabric..." Acrylic fabric is also flammable and can be extremely difficult to extinguish.

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 "...made of green felt with colorful aerials and a propeller that whirls and whirs most convincingly as Junior runs!"

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Bette Davis was a lot of things; smart, gorgeous, tough, demanding, but she was never "dainty." 26

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Has your doctor ever told you that candy bars were a "fine source of quick energy?" And then directed you to buy a certain brand, and change grocers if they don't carry it? Hey, stay in your lane, Doc.

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Tania and Kirsoff appeared in the mid-1930's around the United States with their "new, unique and sensational Dance of the Forbidden Necklace, 'The Snake Dance.' " Their act was apparently not popular everywhere; one club owner told a local newspaper, 'When a customer has had a few highballs, he doesn't want to see blue snakes.' "

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 "Creepy" would be the best choice.

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Sargol is a type of Persian saffron that comes from the very tip of the saffron thread. Advertisements like this were common in the early twentieth century, when a little extra weight was considered a sign of good health and prosperity.

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The Maytag Washing Machine Company was founded in 1893 by businessman Frederick Maytag. By 1921, electric washing machines were efficient at washing clothes, but you still had to run the wet items one at a time through a wringer.

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Fake vomit first appeared in the 1950s. Made of flexible plastic, it was designed by novelty manufacturer Marvin Glass, who also designed the chattering teeth.

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American Field Service was created in World War I as a volunteer ambulance and medical corps supporting the Allied war effort.

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Fireproof asbestos shingles soared in popularity beginning in the early 1900s until health risks associated with the material became widely publicized. But they weren't actually banned nationwide until 1989.

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"No Stool Pigeons" was apparently a good campaign slogan when running for Sheriff in San Diego in the 1930s.

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You could chemically grow colorful crystals with the Hasbro Magic Moon Rocks kit from the 1950s.

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This WW2 poster might be overstating it a bit. Britain and the US were the only countries who didn't issue condoms to their soldiers during WW1 and they paid a price for it. They issued condoms in WW2 and also relied on scare tactics like this.

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Who wants to be a "bright little wife" this Thanksgiving?

 American society is still patriarchal, but not quite as bad as when this ad appeared in the 1970s.

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"To the moon, Alice!"
The Jackie Gleason Bus Drivers Outfit came with with cap, money changer, ticket puncher, bus transfers, and coins.

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Gimbel's Funtimer Slippers and not your ordinary slippers because they have real foam rubber tires.

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 Did Yvette really need Sligh & Tyrrell in order to do her "Muff Dance?"

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That's a hard NO, but Seagram thought there was a little wiggle room. Later, deep in the text that people are likely to miss, they suggest putting "a hold on the drinking" while pregnant.

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If you need this device to hold your fingers in the "proper" position, then piano is probably not the instrument for you.

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How to wreck your relationship with a teenager.

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In 1969, RCA invited the American public to "take a leap into the year 2000" with a new television set called The Two Thousand that cost $2,000. That's about $14,000 in 2020 dollars for a set that would never last to the year 2000.

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"Every skin is different" There is white and there is tanned, but there are no people of color.

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The company that would become Royal Enfield began manufacturing bicycles in the 1880s in the UK. In 1893 they won a contract to supply precision parts to the Royal Small Arms Factory of Enfield, Middlesex. To celebrate this prestigious order, they renamed their business the Enfield Manufacturing Company and adopted the trademark "Made Like A Gun."

 

 

 

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"Made of rugged simulated leather to stand up to out of this world action."

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He's a live wire alright. His cheek muscles are on the outside of his skin!

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Learn the tenor banjo and you'll be paid "fancy prices."

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Creosote is a thick and sticky black tar that is a byproduct of burning wood or coal.
In the 1890s, it was common ingredient in quack medicine cures for colds, flu,  bronchitis, Whooping Cough, Hay Fever, Croup, Asthma and Tuberculosis.

 

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